260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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