you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
