I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
where are my eyebrows?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize