Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
