Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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