I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Randomize
