Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
These tits shall not be calmed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
