I showed him my bush... on skype.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
