Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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