Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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