I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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