He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
