I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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