She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize