i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
