Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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