Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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