Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.