the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!