More tranny stories later!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.