? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
