So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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