He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
