her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
