Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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