id be glad to
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
