so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize