You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she smelled like a LAN party
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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