He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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