Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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