Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
