I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
