I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I want is dick and wine.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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