you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
