Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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