i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
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And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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