week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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