I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
