yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
