i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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