6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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