why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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