you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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