They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
