Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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