bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
