Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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