I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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