It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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