its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
