do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
