You just made me feel so damn special
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
