If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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