Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
