i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
