What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
