i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
