this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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