walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Randomize