If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize