I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
