So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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